indelible grace. good for the soul. itunes.

O Love that wilt not let me go,
I rest my weary soul in thee,
I give thee back the life I owe,
That in thine ocean depths its flow
May richer, fuller be.

O light that followest all my way,
I yield my flickering torch to thee,
My heart restores its borrowed ray,
That in thy sunshine’s blaze its day
May brighter, fairer be.

O Joy that seekest me through pain,
I cannot close my heart to thee,
I trace the rainbow through the rain,
And feel the promise is not vain,
That morn shall tearless be.

O Cross that liftest up my head,
I dare not ask to fly from thee,
I lay in dust life’s glory dead,
And from the ground there blossoms red
Life that shall endless be.

i would love to make:
a lunch like this, in this kind of box.
a family room like this.
bulletin boards like this.
a sweater for a lobster.

i like any version of a s'more.

today i got in a car crash. the airbags came out and everything. this is what my car looked like.

ouch i know. it was bad. it was scary. it was my first wreck. the guy that drove the wrecker said that he thinks it will probably be totaled. i love the jetta, so will probably cry if i have to say goodbye to it. my theme song for today is car crash by matt nathanson, which is a great song. you should check it out on itunes. it has nothing to do with my day by the way. the lyrics say "i wanna feel the car crush". i most certainly most dont. although one line is "push me till i have to fly, i shed my skin, my scars. take me deep out past the lights. where nothing dims these stars...i wanna let go and know i'll be alright" i like that part. for some reason it makes me think about vulnerability, exposure...two things i am very hesitant to be with other people. i claim to be about vulnerability, exposure, authenticity, but at the same time it is so hard for me. i dont want other people to see the ugly parts of me. i like controlling what they see and what they dont. john 3:19 says "This is the crisis we're in: God-light streamed into the world, but men and women everywhere ran for the darkness. They went for the darkness because they were not really interested in pleasing God. Everyone who makes a practice of doing evil, addicted to denial and illusion, hates God-light and won't come near it, fearing a painful exposure. But anyone working and living in truth and reality welcomes God-light so the work can be seen for the God-work it is." so often i am more interested in pleasing others and myself rather than God just to avoid painful exposure. (who knew all this would come from sharing that i had a car wreck.)
thank goodness that God continues a good work in me until the day of Christ Jesus.

we are having a dance party: southern style at casita bonita this weekend! sec what?!?! here is a collage (because making collages is what i do) i made for the event.

yesterday some friends and i were talking about riding the train. i think it sounds like so much fun! there is one that goes over to fort worth and besides sounding like a good time it also is a great way to beat the metroplex traffic.

so today we fell back in time. not that we had the chance to relive a moment in time but you know what i mean. and yes, it is 6:54 and i am awake and have been awake for about an hour. why you may ask. because i cannot sleep in. and, i hate it. yes, the strong word hate would be appropriate here. i have never been much of a late sleeper, but in early college i could sleep late with the best of em. and, since then my sleeping has gotten progressively worse. most nights i wake up at least once during the night. sometimes long enough to watch an episode of tv, others just long enough to flip over to my other side, look at the clock, and cuss in my head that i am awake, or sigh of relief because i do not have to get up for another 6 hours. in college i heard a song by brandon heath that said "Did you wake me up this morning to be taught To be lead into the clutches of the people that you sought". i simply prayed that God would wake me up to spend time with Him. (i even gave up watching tv in the morning for lent that year). well, the prayer worked. why did i ever doubt it would? ever since then i have woken up especially early. i wish i spent that time with the Lord instead of just laying in bed, listening to music, watching movies on my laptop, facebooking, blogging, or anything else that requires laziness. but, there are many a mornings when that time has been spent in the "clutches of the people that you sought". and it is usually a very sweet time. a time that brings my heart to good places and a good rhythm to my life.
so heres to falling back in time and answered prayers.

i broke down and i love it.

i love them. now i know it isnt real life. but, it makes me want to have a relationship that is a great friendship one day.

happy halloween!