Oh, and the World Spins Madly On

so this past week has been full. full of emotions, people, conversations, Jesus, tears, anxiety, my wyldlife team, cleaning...and the list could continue. please pray for my heart.

today when i walked in the young life office for the first time since hearing the news that hp young life will no longer exist after the next two weeks i just wanted to cry and walk right back out the door. not sure why though, i just couldnt put a word to the feeling.

i went up to the office to start cleaning out my stuff. and seven years of yl staff causes one to accumulate a lot of stuff. but really, i just wanted an excuse to go up to the office. since i dont really have any office work to do up there anymore, i dont have any reason to go up to the royal central tower floor 6. but, i miss my friends up there. i miss the chatter and the laughing and the strutting when someone wins ping pong.

as i was going through files and folders i came across the monthly reports from when i was on student staff and an intern in knoxville. each month the staff searched their heart, reflected, and shared what was going on in life. sometimes it was short and sweet, sometimes it was how small can i make the type so it can still be read. God used those reports to give my heart life today. i was reminded of the heart of young life. i was reminded that people in ministry still go through junk. i was reminded of what it is like to be living life with kids who are hurting. i was reminded of friends who i hadnt talked to in years and how what they thought of me used to be so much a part of how i found my worth. i was reminded of girls i was so heartbroken for and have lost touch with. i was reminded of what it is like to work in community. i was reminded of how immature i was 7-8 years ago. i was reminded that God is tender. i was reminded that God is faithful. i was reminded that God is really really good. i was reminded that God loves me. i was reminded that God called me to ministry. i was reminded that He has taken good care of me in life. and i dont want to forget these things as i head into this next season of life.