they are starting to grow.

i can now officially call myself a gardener! through my past few weeks of tending to my garden I am finally getting a better picture of what it means for God to be the gardner of our hearts. if you keep up with my blog you know that the past month or so has been a bit of a life change, in fact it feels like my entire world has been flipped upside down. yes, i am excited about some of the flipping, but at the same time all this change is still happening very fast and my heart cant quite keep up at times. this has been very hard for me to share with the people around me. partly because i am afraid that they will think i am annoying or being ridiculous because the changes in my life are good...going back to school, i got the job at the container store, i didnt get fired, etc. also, i am afraid to let on that i am having a hard time because i want people to think i can handle anything and everything thrown my way. but, in all actuality it feels like God is taking his shovel and digging at my heart so hard that He is getting down past the roots to where the roots dont even exist and tilling that soil. from gardening i have also learned that it wasnt overnight that all my work started to produce something pretty. why would i think my heart would be any different. i know in my head that this is Gods way of taking care of my heart but my heart doest quite believe it (yet). so all this to say, my zinnias are starting to bloom and i pray that soon my heart will be in the same place due to some much needed tending and tilling.

No comments: