For some reason the 6 floor plan/furniture plan inkings, 2 sets of spec sheets, 5 more floor plan/furniture plan sketches, and paper I had to get done today were not on the top of my how I want to spend my Tuesday afternoon list. But, as of now, 5:30 p.m. all I have left are the spec sheets and paper. And, that sounds very doable. A large task can paralyze me at first. I am very proactive until it comes to something that I try to find my value in, then I freeze up for a bit before becoming proactive. At UT (Tennessee, not Texas) I didn't care about school. I cared much more about what I was wearing, spending time with my friends, making sure people liked me, being a good Young Life leader, going to RUF, being an ADPi, and eating at Sawyers and Silver Spoon. This go round is a totally different story (I have probably mentioned this on the blog before. It is a recurring place God has my heart.) and I tend to be on the other extreme when it comes to school. Last week I got a very good grade on a test and the elation on my face was ridiculous. Especially because while studying my mother had to tell me to breathe because I was freaking out so much about how unprepared I felt. Ridiculous I tell you. All of this is to say that today I had a bout of procrastination and fear of tackling all of the work I had to do out of the fear of what if I don't get a good grade (which in my mind means a 100). Good thing God is a God of grace and the sanctification process really is a beautiful and necessary thing for my soul.
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