so i used to have a blog. it was a xanga. somehow God used it to give my heart great life. i express myself through writing so much better than through speaking. for some reason what i try to communicate comes out different than how i thought of it in my head. but in any case, that year that i blogged was great for my heart and right now i think it would be a great thing for my heart. i started my xanga...xanga.com/ylmccabe one night when i couldnt sleep due to lots of issues setting up house in my heart and mind. i was about to move to auburn, leave the town where i went to college, and for the first time in about 7 years have to claim my faith and who i am in a very real and new way. its funny because i know i have changed and grown and God has done great things in me and my heart over the past two years but some of those same issues are still living in me...insecurities, place in life, thinking dizzy, loving matt wertz, still short (ok those last two were for humor. gotta lighten the mood a bit). but for real, i love blogging and i miss it. there is something that i love about being vulnerable and the people in my life who know about this site have the opportunity to read it but dont have to and can talk to me about what i write or dont have to and either way they know my heart and where it is in life but i dont feel as exposed. being exposed has been a major theme in my life over the past two years. more into that later probably.
another thing i love almost as much as blogging is lists. i love making lists, crossing things off lists, dave lettermans 10 ten list. so here are the top 10 things i am loving right now 05.23.07...
10. "same kind of different as me" by ron hall and denver moore its a book about dallas and people from different parts of society building relationship and living life together.
9. rain. not just the patty griffin song, but the sky outside my bedroom window is black and i love summer rain, especially on the front porch with a cigar.
8. dallas. i mean i am moving there and am pretty stoked, although it feels really far away.
7. imago dei community podcast. rick mckinley rocks it and God really used his sermon on brokenhaeartedness in my heart.
6. brandon heath music. he was at work week last week and his song called something like red sky is my favorite. plus, he is so cute. (i know this makes it a top 15 or something but i also am really into the weepies, damien rice, caleb caruth, and ryan adams...you should check them out too)
5. fruit. just cant seem to get enough of it, especially oranges and apples.
4. mystery by indigo girls. great song. you should download it.
3. my brother getting married. i am so excited for my brother and holly! they are like the all american couple, he is in ministry she is a nurse. they are going to live in lynchburg, va while he does his young life internship. they are the kind of couple that will end up having a golden retriever, suv, cute house, and great kids that know Jesus well, all while drinking a beer and being cool.
2. 1 Kings 3:1-15. my time with the Lord has felt very dry as of late and today this passage gave me great life. "The Lord was pleased that Solomon had asked for this and not for long life for wealth for yourself, nor have you asked for the death of your enemies but for discernment in administering justice, i will do what you have asked, i will give you a wise and discerning heart, so that there will never have been anyone like you, nor will there ever be." -1 Kings 10-12 i love the unselfishness that is portrayed here, but too bad solomon did not remain faithful and receieve what the Lord had for him.
1. pam and jim. not really my number one, but couldnt think of anything else and they are the greatest love story after Jesus.
-mccabe
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