couple days in a row. arent you readers lucky?
i dont really know what i want to write. but, for some reason i want to.
i miss my family. i didnt realize moving to texas would make me feel so far away from them. what a great thing to have a family that i love enough to miss.
mornings are rough for me these days. never have been before. i have always been an early bird. now i find myself with the ability to sleep for long periods of time.
i am so excited for young life to start. right now i dont really feel connected with my team or people in the community yet and am very ready to have those relationships take off. pray that they do, because right now i feel as if they may never. times of disconnect lead me to bad places in my heart. cs lewis says that one of satans greatest ploys is to have us "idealize the past and have unrealistic expecations of the future". he gets me with it every time. and in times of disconnect i idealize relationships, well not so much relationships and situations involving people. i forget about the politics or the cliques or the junk that went along with being a part of certain communities. i just remember the people, their smiling faces, looking deep into their eyes in their times of hurt, or hearing about their lives and laughing about what the day had brought them. my friend kelly just called, so i kind of lost my train of thought. it was so good to talk to her. i miss her. gosh, i miss people. i miss knowing people. i miss them knowing me. no one here knows me, really for real. and no one knows the little things either. no one knows i love pink and green (well ashley does) and that green olives are my favorite food and i think heidi klum sounds like she has a baby voice on project runway and that i fall asleep in any movie at any time of the day and that hands open by snow patrol is one of my favorite songs to sing loud in the car and she doesnt get it by the band the format has a part that goes "she stops and she sings do do do do do do do do" and i love that part and play it on repeat and no one knows my best friends are callie krista and kristen and that they all live in tn and have such different lives than me. i am ready for people to know this stuff because i am ready to feel at home and connected with people. i am ready to know that kind of stuff about them.
well, i am gonna go. that wore me out. haha.
love,
mccabe
No comments:
Post a Comment