i am lusting after this bag these days:

it would be the perfect young life assignment tote in the perfect summertime color.

so i think i have come up with the most perfect job for me (besides what i do now of course) drumroll please.....
a lyric critic!
now, i dont think such a think exists, but maybe just maybe i could be the first one ever in the history then open this profession up to other people that would benefit from this line of work. what exactly is a lyric critic you ask and why would it be perfect for you, mccabe? well, i will tell you. first, what it is. it is someone who goes to concerts and listens closely to the lyrics, how the words sound, what they mean, how they resonate in the heart, notices how the crowd reacts to the words being sung. the lyric critic also takes notes on the lyrics, writing down ones that stood out and why and the emotions that went along with them. of course, then the lyric critic would need to interview the artist or just hangout and grab a beer with them and discuss where the songs came from and what was behind them. now we are to the part of why this would be the perfect job for me. 1. i love live music. it brings me to life. 2. i love lyrics, more than the sound of the music, i listen to the words. 3. i would love an excuse to write lyrics down as i hear them at concerts and not look like a weirdo.4. i believe i have a good ear for lyrics, depth, humor, grammar, and emotion. yeah, so, those are the only reasons why. so, if you know of any lyric critic job openings let me know and i will get them my resume.

on a more serious note, i have been to three concerts in the past week...guster, mates of state, and drew & ellie holcomb. all of them were awesome. drew and ellie were my fave. you should check them out for sure. there is a link over there to the right. they love Jesus, love each other, have amazing lyrics, a great sound, great voices, and are vols. doesnt get much better than that.

i am off to bed. another migraine coming on. i know Jesus heals, so i am trusting that He is good even when i dont feel His healing touch. goodnight.

thoughts running through my head as i lay in bed trying to fall asleep...

the swine flu is pretty silly. well, i shouldnt say that. i should say the way the world is reacting to the swine flu is pretty silly to me. fort worth isd is closing school through may 8. what? i apologize if any of you readers have lost loved ones or suffered from this illness.

i wish i got to spend more time with my wyldlife girls. school, sports, and dance just so gets in the way. i am excited for summer and hanging out, going to the hp pool, eating at burger house for lunch, watching movies at north park, getting yogilicious lots, and doing so many other fun things that i havent even thought of yet!

i really like the names eloise and shep.

jonalyn grace fincher (an author) and i would be best friends i think if we knew each other. its like she knows my heart without even knowing me. maybe one day our paths will cross and we can have bff necklaces.

rob pattinson and i would probably be besties too if we knew each other.

"God is not suggesting that we will not confront fearful realities in our lives. God is simply promising not to abandon us to fearful circumstance but to go with us through the dark night of fear, dancer and uncertainty. the many do not be afraid promises ini scripture do nto suggest that we shun the fearful prospects in which we find ourselves, but God consistenly promises to be with us in the dark and ominous moment." -norman shawchuck
my favorite thing about Jesus is how He enters into pain and darkness with us. i pray that God allows my heart to remember that in the midst of pain and darkness and not just in times of peace in my life.

i want to learn how to play guitar, take beautiful photography, love the poor better, manage my money well, and be an extra in a movie or tv show.

i am really tired and wish so badly my migraine would go away. i have had one every single day this week and am tired of it and wish the Lord had never made migraines something people had to endure, they just get in the way.

it would be very fun to have a vacation home in santa monica, ca. maybe one day, and i could take great pictures like this on my polaroid camera:


i am going to bed and i have a lot more running through my mind than i thought.
goodnight.

i like this:

Matt Wertz - New Music - More Music Videos

10 days until portland!
so, here is a top ten list of why i cannot wait to get there...

10. reliving new staff training memories. holly chu, the mins, multnomah bible college, mona, dale bruner, skipping class to see the latest mandy moore flick, oh the memories.
9. no sales tax!
8. i love airports and flying. they have the best people watching.
7. going to the paper store and the headband shop lindsay has told me about.
6. beauty of mountains and beaches and other landscapes like pretty trees north central texas does not have.
5. seeing where lindsay lives and the cool shower she has.
4. hanging with linds' bf the bong. (really, that is his last name)
3. hearing rick mckinley from my fave church, imago dei, live!
2. seeing charlies house and other spots from the filming of twilight.
1. hanging with my bestie lindsay!!! oh the heart conversations and laughter that will happen in those 5 days.

rain rain go away.

i have been listening to a sermon from imago dei community church in portland about the economy, specifically the recession.
here is just a taste of the richness from rick mckinley:
"we are living in a kingdom and our king is benevolent. and he is the abundant one that gives us everything."
check out the entire sermon from april 19th HERE.

twitter.
i just joined. not really sure what i think about it, because i kinda dont get it. but, i do know that i love that i can follow the cast from twilight...kristen stewart, robert pattinson, and anna kendrick. also, there are friends that i dont really get to see ever, so it is fun to hear whats up in their lives, even if it is just over one sentence updates. i am a sucker for most media/trendy/pop culture type ways of communication, facebook, blogs, and now twitter. of course i would rather sit down and have a real convo with someone. but, thats not always an option since i have lived in north carolina, tennessee, alabama, and now texas in the last 10 years. so, all this is just for fun and so fun!
and, i cant forget to mention that i love that twitters logo is a little birdie.

if you really knew me you would know...

i love peanut butter.

i love going to sleep early.

both have been a part of my life in the past 24 hours.

"living in the awareness of the risen Jesus is not a trivial pursuit for the bored and lonely or a defense mechanism enabling us to cope with the stress and sorrow of life. it is the key that unlocks the door to grasping the meaning of existence. all day and every day we are being reshaped into the image of Christ. everything that happens to us is designed to this end. nothing that exists can exist beyond the pale of His presence ("all things were created through him and for him"-col. 1:16), nothing is irrelevant to it, nothing is withouth significance in it."
-brennan manning
abbas child

i made what i think is a most excellent playlist last night. most of them are lovey type songs, but isnt that what every girl likes most in a song?
first day of my life- bright eyes
all good gifts- sojourn
9 days- weekend excursion
darlin do not fear- brett dennen
id rather be with you- joshua radin
the guy that says goodbye to you is out of his mind- griffin house
nobodys crying- patty griffin
in the broken places- david wilcox
southern girl- amos lee
amazing- ben rector
love never fails- brandon heath
love is magic- drew holcomb and the neighbors
this colorful world- eliot morris
mystery- indigo girls
car crash- matt nathanson
divine romance- phil wickham
best ill ever be- sister hazel

sometimes i feel like i am living a life of two polar opposites in my heart. one part of me loves pop culture, celebrity gossip, twilight, the hills, gossip girl, headbands, curling my hair, picking out clothes, picking out plates and napkins for a party, entertaining and decorating and so on. the other part of me loves to talk about the depths of my heart and to know the hearts of other people, look at things only below the surface, cry, enter in the midst of pain with other people, be a counselor, be still, be quiet, and listen to hymns and soft emo music. sometimes, well most of the time, it is a battle in my heart of which one i really am. i feel like people only can see one side or the other, most people dont recognize both, and i have trouble knowing which is real too. today i was talking to a friend and she was explaining to me that it isnt a battle though, that both are who i am and both can exist at the same time, both are real. it felt such freedom to hear her say that. it may sound simple and easy and obvious. but, to me, it isnt. i so badly desire to be authentic, real, transparent, for people to see both the whitney port, edward cullen, anthropologie style loving part of me and the journal writing, thoughtful, deep side of me. thank you for reading as i continue to blog through this journey of my heart and life with Jesus.
this is a little collage i made as i thought about my heart right now.

i have many celebrity crushes...for so many different reasons...

jim halpert...i mean john krasinski.
he makes me laugh with his dry sense of humor. and makes me want to marry him because of what a great friend he is to his fiance (but not in real life) pam.

chace crawford.
i think i have been quoted as saying, "he is so beautiful it is dangerous" haha. i love his preppy style. (oh wait, is that his style or nate archibalds.)

mark ruffalo.
he seems so kind and gentle and just darling.

rob pattinson.
beautiful. and what a voice (beautiful english accent), both when he speaks and when he is playing the guitar or piano singing.

brandon heath.
he seems to have such a tender heart for Jesus.

(i hope you all know i am being silly with this, i dont really have for real crushes on these boys that i dont even know. but if i did know them, who knows!)

happy easter!

"How beautiful were the words he told her,
'He is not here; He is risen!'"...
"He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree,
so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness;
by his wounds you have been healed."
1 Peter 2:24

below is a picture off my friends, brady and cindy's BLOG. they are loving high school kids, with their 4 sons, in guatemala with young life. cindy was my first team leader back at the webb school of knoxville when i was an 18 year old immature, insecure, trying to figure out this Jesus thing, freshman in college. when the vida joven (yl) staff gathered they wrote on this white board the ways they have seen God throughout the past year (2008). on the greenes blog brady says they ran out of room. thank you God, for the ways you work in places of poverty, violence, discomfort, wealth, peace, and comfort. i hope you are encouraged by this picture as much as i am. although i wish my espanol was better :)

i have been bitten by the twilight bug (though i wish it was by edward cullen himself). the movie drew me in and now the books by stephenie meyer have. i am in midst of reading the second one and although i am very sad right now (due to the edward disappearance) i just cannot wait to see how he comes back (because of course he has to!).
but, this is something i read last night and it struck me...bella has just been talking about how edward enjoys spending money on her and it makes her feel uncomfortable, and edward just does not get why she wont accept his gifts. "but how could i let him give me things when i had nothing to reciprocate with? he, for some unfathomable reason, wanted to be with me. anything he gave me on top of that just threw us more out of balance." that made me think so much about my life with God. he just wants to be with me. i have nothing to give in return, except to love Him back. and i too think that anything else good in my life throws our relationship out of balance. i need to give more, be better, spend more time doing "godly" things, follow rules, think less of myself, etc, etc. why dont i just let knowing the Lords love is enough and all He wants is me to love Him too? just like edward expects nothing else from bella. i know it is just a teen love story about vampires. but i believe our lives are a love story about humans and their Creator.

check out: AUSTIN. i wish i were as cool as him.

summer is approaching...

so today i did the unthinkable, something i never thought i would do. my heart knows the better way. i cant believe i am posting this on the internet for anyone and everyone to read, but i think getting it out in the open will be best. other people have done it and i always thought in my head there was no way i ever would. but, tonight everything changed. i ate yogilicious and liked it better than i heart yogurt. i am so ashamed. cheating on i heart yogurt is the last thing i ever wanted to do. but yogilicious...their toppings are so much better. they have tiny cubes of cantaloupe, marshmallow cream and tiny peanut butter chips...and all of that on top of plain frozen yogurt is pure delight. i heart yogurt you will always be first in my heart, the one that showed me my true love of a place where i get to serve my own all natural plain frozen yogurt with my favorite toppings. so for that i am forever thankful. but for now, we must part ways. but do not fret, when i am in north dallas i will surely visit and give you a piece of my heart once again.